Memories and Carpe Diem

Some memories hit me like flashes when I least expect. I am just thinking of something and boom! The most pleasant experiences can become the most painful memories. But then again, it is about keeping the balance and carpe diem. It was indeed good while it lasted. 

(This happened when at office we were thinking about holidays and Janmashtami was a topic of discussion. I almost instantly thought of what I was doing last Janmashtami and then Ouch!) 

 

My 1st Career Guidance Talk. What fun!

Such a brilliant start to my day! Gave a career talk at a girl's convent school. Before me, talks were by a nurse, an engineer and a doctor. When each of them asked who among the kids want to be like them, so many kids raised their hands. Then it was my turn, and I simply asked, how many of you have at least HEARD of copywriting? Not a single soul! I instantly knew this was going to be fun! And I had a ball! 

In the middle I asked the kids - what does it mean to be creative? They said Imaginative, innovative, blah blah and then one girl in the corner stretching her hand like there's no tomorrow gave me the best answer - being ABSURD! 

I absolutely loved it! 

Emotional De javu

Right now, emotionally I am going through what I felt when I was 19. In retrospect, even amidst all the confusion, I was quite level headed and made sensible decisions for self preservation. It's funny that I have to seek inspiration from my 19 year old self, but I also feel proud that I was a sorted teenager. Back then, I didn't care much and that made all the difference.

What about the middle of the tunnel?

We always talk about the light at the end of the tunnel. But what about the darkness in the middle of the tunnel?

The darkness that makes you stronger.
The darkness that teaches you to trust your instincts when you can't see anything.
The darkness that shows you who your true friends are.
The darkness that pushes you to conquer your fears and swing a stick if you have to protect yourself. 
The darkness that reveals yourself to you. Where you witness your mettle. 
The darkness where you realise that what you want and what makes you happy could be different. 

The darkness that we never want again is the one whom we owe who we are to. 

The freedom to commit

So a lot of folks say they don't want to commit to something because they want to enjoy the freedom. I won't deny that I was of a similar opinion. But off late I have come to realise that freedom is not the absence of commitment but rather the decision to commit something of your choice. 

My freedom lies in the act of signing up for a two year part-time applied art course, knowing that my weekends and travel plans for two years get affected by it. It is a deliberate choice. I had the freedom to decide. I was not forced into it. I was not asked to commit. I did it completely understanding what it takes. So no weekend treks, no weekend goa trips, no saturday night late partying. But I do what I love doing every weekend and I really look forward to weekends. So I have the week to myself, to learn, practice, work, travel, meet people and I do that over weekends too. Just that I don't go out of town. That's it. Fair trade off. No pain, no gain. And it is way better than feeling like a bum when the weekends done :P 

My freedom lies in the leap of faith to start a company. Knowing well that life decisions and personal interests will get affected by it. I can't be erratic and run away, out of town for three months at a stretch. (May be I can later, once I set up a good base and hire some kickass folks).

My freedom lies in the responsibility I feel towards my parents. They never ask me to take care of them or pay their bills. I do so willingly and because I really want to!

And I think eventually, my freedom will lie in committing to one person; to honour, love and respect him for the rest of my life; in sickness, health, pain, sorrow (you know the jazz). I’m aware, I then can't lust after other men or fancy a one night stand. Or consider a romantic escapade during one of my travels. And in there lies my freedom to stand by the commitment I make.

How long till...

So here we are again. We think we have moved on. But things like these happen and we are back to square one. Lives lost. families hurt. Cell phone networks jammed. Hate messages. Help messages. Sure as a city we bounce back. But does that mean that this should happen again and again?

When we were younger, no one frisked us at malls. Railway stations didn't have those detectors. We could trust that we were safe, wherever we went. Now be it trains, buses or the just road, we are suspicious. 

I know I will have to get my bike checked at every parking lot hence forth. And may be in the future the most mundane, taken for granted things will also get checked. 

I am glad that someone I know has not been directly affected in any of the instances. But how long till someone I know actually gets affected? Someone I know dies? or I die myself? Because someone out there is dying.

Embracing the daring adventure my life is meant to be

So here I am in Goa. Sitting on a pink stool, by a pink table, next to a tall window, overlooking the greenery outside, in a huge goan house, where I am sitting by myself, on a net book with internet, none of which belongs to me. With a glass of local port wine.

When I reached Goa on Tuesday morning, the train schedules were erased. So I assumed I would take the 7pm train back to Mumbai (like the way I had done the last time I was here. Oh the flexibility of traveling by cheap general compartment!)
But turns out, when I reach the train station at 7pm on Thursday, the train left at 5:30 and the schedule was updated.
Unlike most people, I laugh at the situation and get out of the station only to find a friend from Bombay waiting outside for some other folks. We get talking and now I am invited to his resort at Baga. To may be design the place. I call my local Goan designer friend and ask if he is interested in meeting a potential client. And walla, we have a meeting arranged today, Friday.

Turns out some other friends from bombay are here too. and I may meet them as well. I don't know. For now I am just embracing this daring adventure my life has thrown at me. 

My best days are yet to come

Actually I have never been nostalgic and reminiscing is not something I do often. I am always enjoying my present and eagerly looking forward to the future. Sure I get bored on certain days. But it never makes me feel like going back to the past.

I always feel that my best days are yet to come. Even when it comes to romance I think my greatest love awaits me.